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Psychological consultation for parents

 

Being a parent is never easy. This is responsibility, problems, joys, questions. All the feelings are mixed together. When a baby is born, the family’s life changes dramatically.

It is often difficult to find the right way out of a situation and correctly solve the issue. And there are many questions. After all, as children grow up, the family faces age-related crises. This means that parents have to constantly solve problems and adapt to the new behavior of their child.

Basically, problems arise when the child has grown up and changed their behavior, and you continue to perceive it the same way.

What questions can be answered by consulting a psychologist?
How to raise children correctly and overcome their age-related crises painlessly
How to properly distribute family responsibilities-to give the “right” number of things that your son or daughter can really handle.
Ideal relationships in the family – how to make them a reality, and the time spent with loved ones brought joy
Here is a simple example:

In adolescence, there is a change of authorities. If before, he was mostly attached to the opinion of his parents, now his peers are very important to him. The main task of this age is to learn how to communicate correctly, build relationships in a team.

What we see:

The teenager does not listen, communicates a lot with friends, does not tell his parents anything. Mother demands from him more habitual, “childish” behavior – to ask permission, to listen to her opinion. And he doesn’t want to do it. My mother insists. As a result, there is a conflict.
What is dangerous?

If you do not solve the problem at the time, it can lead to a prolonged conflict in the family, a violation of communication between the child and parents, or even a break in the relationship.
And if you still break a teenager, and do not give him the opportunity to “grow up”, then you will get an absolutely independent person who does not know how to make decisions, build your life, take initiative. To put it simply – there is a great chance to grow a person who will “sit on your neck” and consider that this is normal . And he will not have the desire to live independently and separate from you. Think about it, and you will probably remember more than one example of children who live with their mother at the age of 30 and are not going anywhere.
In this case, the fastest way to solve the problem is to contact a psychologist.

“Why do I need a psychologist? I can handle my own difficulties!”- so many people think. However, contacting a psychologist will make the solution of your question easier, more interesting, and most importantly – more effective.

Why is a psychologist’s consultation effective?
The specialist is not in your family system. He is able to see the problem from the outside, and has the necessary knowledge to solve the issue.
It can be a translator – from “parent” to “adolescent” language.
If the problem is not started, it is solved quickly, and often our clients are surprised at how much the goals of mom, dad and an adult teenager actually coincide.
The family faces similar problems not only in adolescence.
About age-related crises, and how to overcome them harmoniously.
The main task of a parent during the development of a child at all stages is to expand their boundaries and eventually become an independent person. The goal of an adult is to keep and intelligently push these boundaries, thereby supporting the desire for independence.

If the issue is not resolved at a certain stage, it can later become a big problem.

Crisis of 3 years.
The baby at this age – gradually separate from the mother. He finally realizes his separateness and begins to check the boundaries – and what can I do?

What should parents do?

To keep reasonable based on common sense boundaries.
Posepenno give the right amount of independence.
Helping your child to form an adequate self-esteem will be very useful in the future.
Consequences of incorrect actions.

If you do not give enough independence, you will get a squeezed, independent, but quite comfortable baby. And if there are too many – a skilled manipulator who winds ropes from others.

Crisis of 7 years.
This is a special age. This crisis is social. It’s stressful for the whole family. Masis goes to school, where he was beginning to appreciate. And you will be read to evaluate in terms of how you raised your child and how he now behaves. I wonder if many people like to attend parent-teacher conferences at school.

The task of the student is to gradually move from playing activities to learning, to learn to adequately perceive the process in which his actions are evaluated.

What is the task of parents?

Help maintain an adequate self-esteem, remind that if he got a bad grade, he did not get worse.
Make it clear that the assessment is simply the result of actions.
Teach the correct daily routine and structure your time.
Develop self-awareness
Say that you love your son or daughter always. When ratings are bad, they are good, when you praise or scold. Always. Knowing that your parents love you is priceless.

Consequences of incorrect actions.

ATTENTION! Before school, all the children were distributed by adults. Start giving away responsibility. If you do not do this now, you will soon not be able to control all the lessons assigned to him, the schedule of his circles. And your baby doesn’t know how to do it. Therefore, you need to learn gradually.

If you do not support the self-esteem of a younger student, it can be very shaky and lead to self-doubt. After all, you will never be able to control how well it is evaluated by teachers, friends and other people.

Crisis of 12 years.
This is a classic adolescence. Here, your son or daughter does not require a child’s attitude, and they are not adults in fact.

The task of a teenager is to expand the zone of independence, to develop relationships with friends and parents in a new, more adult role.

What is the task of parents?

To give the opportunity to gradually separate;
Adopt a new way of communication and learn to stand up with a growing child.
Consequences of incorrect actions.

Damaged relationships in the case of parents ‘ unwillingness to accept a new way of communication, or a broken teenager who is not capable of independence.

Crisis of 16 years.
This is a crisis of self-determination. It is also social, because school has come to an end, and it is time to move on.

The task of a teenager is to approach independence even more, to understand who he is, who he wants to be, and to choose the direction of development.

What is the task of parents?

Support, respect his opinion, and do not interfere.
Ideally, if a trusting relationship has been created before, you should become a reliable back-up support. As a child, a child learns a new space, running away and returning to his mother, looking for support, so in life – you always feel bolder if you know that there is a reliable place where you can always return, where they will understand, regret and support.

Sessions with a psychologist will help you successfully go through all these stages, solve problems if they occurred earlier and build a successful future for your family.

What can be the reason for contacting a child psychologist?
A sharp change in the child’s mood or behavior– he studied well and suddenly got bad grades, doesn’t want to go to school or a section, etc.
Difficulties in building a parent-child relationship
Conflicts in the family – with mom, dad, siblings
Reduced motivation to learn
Difficulties in communication and adaptation in a team
Difficulties in building communication with peers
Children’s shyness
Increased aggressiveness
Child’s fear
Age-related crises
Questions concerning the upbringing of children – how to instill responsibility, etc.
When should I see a psychologist?
Experts advise to seek the help of psychologists in case of a stressful situation in life, in the family, and the sooner, the better. Any discomfort in your relationship with yourself or within your family is a reason to think about the cause of it. Often such feelings indicate that there are problems that a person or family members may not be aware of due to the lack of an objective view.
A good psychologist will identify the sources of discontent and help prevent the negative development of the situation.
With the help of a family psychologist, you will learn to hear and understand yourself, take into account the needs of a loved one and at the same time preserve your interests, as well as prevent the emergence of new misunderstandings.

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