How to help your child become confident
In the modern world, there are often situations when parents see that the child closes in on himself, he has problems with self-esteem, communication and Hobbies, and not only. All these are signs that the child does not have enough self-confidence. My name is Nastya, I am 16 years old, and I decided to find out why this happens and how to help the child (and parents, too) cope with this phenomenon.
Self-confidence what is it?
To make our conversation more informative, we need to understand some key theoretical points.
What is self-confidence? We can say a lot about this and an adequate, positive assessment of yourself and your capabilities, the ability to accept your shortcomings…
But the most important thing follows from the very phrase self-confidence is self-belief.
This is what helps you not give up even in the most difficult times of life, to go forward, no matter what.
Why does a child need self-confidence?
We are used to adults thinking about self-confidence more often than children, it is more important for them. This is probably a stereotype. After all, children need it no less. Even more. Let’s figure out why.
From self-confident children grow self-confident adults!
That is, to develop a child’s self-belief, it is worth at least in order for him to have everything good in adult life. The phrase we all come from childhood fits here as never before. All children’s resentments, complexes, and so on very much affect our place in life, success in the future.
Psychologists have found that the degree of success in adulthood directly depends on the degree of self-confidence.
Confidence is necessary for a child to:
He had healthy relationships both in his family and with his peers;
He learned easily, passed exams and answered at the blackboard;
I tried new things and was not afraid to make mistakes;
To grow up a happy person.
In our time, this trait of character is simply necessary everywhere and in everything!
The child became unsure of himself – why and what to do?
It happens that initially the child was quite confident, open and positive, parents worked on the development of this quality, but suddenly he became more closed, more often began to prevail negative mood.
To get started you just need to talk to him. Perhaps he will tell you the reasons for his behavior, his isolation. But if not here are the 3 most common reasons for self doubt in babies:
Lack of love
If a child feels some kind of alienation from people close to him, he goes into himself and feels anxiety and loneliness.
Lack of support
If you are constantly on anyone’s side, but not for your child, leave him alone with his fears and do not help the baby to fight with them or experience them together, then the child experiences some confusion, excitement.
If you often yell at your child, frighten him, for example, with various difficulties, or beat (!!!) there is nothing surprising in the fact that the child is not sure of himself. Trusting relationships in the family in this case is also out of the question.
6 ways to help your child become confident
So how do you help your child become more confident?
I have 6 tips for you:
Don’t criticize, but support and guide
How many of us like it when our work or actions are criticized, and even sometimes unreasonably? That’s right, no one.
Your support is very important to your child.
For example, don’t Oh my God, don’t ever draw again, you’re terrible at it, it’s not your thing, but well done, you’re trying so hard! Try again, you will definitely succeed!
I think the difference is obvious. In the first case, the child will be upset and with a 99% probability will no longer touch drawing, and most likely, will destroy the talent in itself, even though hidden under a hundred randomly painted sheets. And in the second, the child will try again and again, and one day he will become, perhaps not a van Gogh, but a very good artist.
Let the child make mistakes
At the same time, since childhood, let him understand that the responsibility, even if not yet complete, but still bears for his actions and what they led to, himself. Tell your child why mistakes are normal.
We are all not perfect.
Again, returning to the previous point, direct. Let’s have a choice. Let the child understand that he can choose one or the other, and learn to understand the consequences of his choice.
Focus on your child’s strengths
Each of us has something that turns out better and worse
If the child is not able to sing, but he dances well, give the opportunity to develop in the area that causes him positive emotions, in which he feels comfortable.
It is not necessary to force him, figuratively speaking, to stand on a stool in front of guests and sing this will confuse the child, and knowing that vocals are not his strong point, this situation will remain in his head for a long time in the image of a kind of nightmare.
But at the same time, explain to your child why you need to accept your shortcomings
I will say at once that this advice is more suitable for a teenager. Explain that the flaws are also one of the sides of his character, and that it is worth working on.
Show by your example how to get rid of some complexes.
If you have a fear of public speaking, try to be as often as possible in situations where you need to say something to a large enough audience, etc.
Having overcome one or another of their fears, the teenager almost immediately feels much more confident.
Instill in your child the habit of constantly developing
Again, this advice applies more to teenagers. Now in the world of teenagers, there are two trends: some of us prefer to stay at home, playing computer games and spending days on end in virtual life, while others still strive to learn as much as possible, to learn the world and find their place in it through continuous development. I am glad that there are more and more of them over time.
If a child is not instilled from childhood, and then not explained in adolescence the importance of constant development, he may have problems with at least self-esteem, hence self-confidence.
People who love development and are aware of its value are more confident, and this is an undeniable fact.
The fact that parents constantly compare a child with someone, especially if the comparison is clearly not in favor of the child, discourages him from doing anything because there is always someone better.
Therefore, there is no need to talk about self-confidence in a child growing up in such a family, but inferiority complexes abound.
Each person is unique, and you need to love and try to accept your child as it is.
Of course, these are not all ways to help a child become self-confident, but only part of them, but they are one of the most effective.
Of course, you also need to take into account the age characteristics of the child and apply the above tips, focusing on the age of your child.
From 1 to 3 years, for example, the baby should be given at least a little independence and gradually expand its boundaries.
From 3 to 7 years old, a child can already see the difference between their physical and emotional States and somehow adjust them depending on the situation. It is at this age that children most often tend to copy the behavioral models of their parents so watch yourself as well.
The advice of psychologists in the fight against childhood insecurities
What do psychologists think about this? How do they see a competent struggle with self-doubt? Let’s find out!
The most important thing to do is to love yourself.
The first step is to accept yourself.
The child is more difficult to do all this, he is not yet so knowledgeable in psychology and in the principle of life, so you should tell him about it. Show these things by example.
Tell him the simple truth that no matter what you do, I will always love you, always be on your side, always support you.
Yes, after voicing this, the child may try to do something not very good to test the strength of the ice. Your task is to take it calmly and explain what he is wrong.
You did something wrong, it’s worth fixing. I’m upset about what you did. But I always love you, even when I’m not happy with your behavior and scold you.
It is not necessary to demand from the child that he is not able to perform.
I have already mentioned this in the tips above.
Each person is unique, each of us has different capabilities and abilities, and it is a bad idea to require a child to realize their own goals and desires that have not been fulfilled.
Always try to prove some statements/beliefs by your own example.
If a child sees that you are dependent on the opinion of society, try to isolate yourself from the world around you and hide in your comfort zone, do not be surprised that he will behave the same way.
Do not want your child to repeat any of your mistakes or not the best features of your character, learn and change with them.
Give your child the choice and subsequent mistakes, but do not require him to be too Mature.
Children are children after all. Do not be intimidated, but don’t try to save you from all the bad things that theoretically has the possible to be one hundred percent no insurance and can not be.
Consider the psychological characteristics of your child in all situations.
This is the temperament, and its psychoemotional state at one time or another, and much more. Your behavior also depends on the complex of psychological capabilities of the baby.