When you need a child psychologist
Raising a child is not an easy family task. Being a parent is not only a great joy, but also a great job. And sometimes it is absolutely not clear what is happening to the child, why the child’s behavior has changed so much and how you should act in this situation. And their behavior towards children is not always happy. You love a child, but you yell at it, you want to negotiate “in a good way” and you have to punish. And after that? Feeling guilty, feeling like you’re a bad parent…
The best solution to the problem of raising children is to consult a competent specialist.
What questions can be solved by a psychologist
A child psychologist will help you understand the causes of problems with your child, understand how to change the situation and establish relationships in the family.
You can get effective advice on parenting – how to instill responsibility, accuracy, and teach them to communicate.
You will learn about age peculiarities, crises and how to overcome them in a harmonious way.
Meeting with a psychologist is useful at every stage of the child’s development, because each age has its own characteristics. Knowing them, it is much easier to work with your child and solve family problems .
But you should definitely consult a psychologist when:
Have you noticed a sudden change in the child’s mood or behavior
School grades have deteriorated sharply, and he refuses to go to clubs or sections
You have frequent family conflicts – with your parents, brothers and sisters
The child does not want to learn
It is difficult for him to build relationships with peers and adapt to the team
There are such features in the child’s behavior as:
Myths about psychologists
A child psychologist should have children
They may or may not be. It doesn’t matter. A good children’s specialist has knowledge and works with clients, and does not talk about his experience and does not give valuable advice, “like a girlfriend in the kitchen.”
The psychologist will “stuff you with pills” or ” put you on the register»
This is not true at all, because he is not a doctor. Not a child psychiatrist or neurologist. It only works with behavior, the family system, and the child’s upbringing. Of course, in special cases, he can recommend visiting a specialist med. Yes, but this is just a recommendation. What you do will remain at your discretion.
The psychologist will look and see everything
You should still prepare for the visit. At the reception, you will need to remember many moments of life, how to develop your child at different ages, what problems there were in the past, what methods of education were used in the family.
The child psychologist only talks about the child.
This is not true. Say goodbye to this idea right away. You will talk about the entire family system as a whole, including grandparents. Each family member has more or less influence on the situation. Therefore, do not be surprised by such questions.
The child goes to a psychologist immediately everything will change
He will quickly become docile and compliant. This is not true. In order for the child to come to a harmonious state, it will require the joint work of the entire family. And the changes won’t always be quick.
What to pay attention to when choosing a specialist
First and most important
Profile education. You must have a psychology degree. Courses in family therapy and childhood are good, but the diploma is important.
It is important that your chosen specialist is a child’s one. Only such a person has sufficient knowledge about the development and behavioral characteristics of children of different ages.
It should be. Moreover, young professionals can also be effective, they are able to see the situation and build relationships with children. They work well in training for children. But for individual consultations, it is still better to choose a person who has already helped many families.
They talk about good specialists and leave reviews. They can be found on the Internet, calculated in social networks. networks. And if you attend trainings for children, you can always communicate with other parents, get “live” reviews of the hosts and decide who you want to come to an individual reception.
However, there are no 100% good reviews. Each client has their own psychologist. You have to be right for each other. But 90% of positive reviews should still be there.
A good specialist learns. You can’t graduate from University and stop your education there. Science, including psychology, does not stand still. Time changes, children and their behavior, methods of working with them. To provide effective assistance, it is important to know about this and be able to use new knowledge in your work.
Where can I get advice from a psychologist
In free centers. There are state organizations that have specialists. If you have any questions – you can make an appointment.
Most often for free;
There are good specialists in such centers.
There may be a large queue, but usually if there is a problem you want to solve it now.
You can get to a young specialist without work experience
You can’t always choose who you want to go to
Even good child psychologists in the centers are often “tired” – they have a very large number of appointments and little “planned” time for each client.
On the Internet for free. This is help – on the forms or through the form ” ask a question to a psychologist»
One-sided answers, a conversation with a specialist will not replace anything
Paid online consultations. This is a modern, fast and high-quality version of help.
You can choose the right specialist anywhere in the world
You don’t waste time moving around
It’s not always easy to build a relationship without personal contact.
The host must be able to do this and have experience in such consulting.
Personal paid consultations. An effective way to work.
Choose the right specialist for all the above parameters
Make an appointment at a more convenient time for you
There is a possibility of personal contact with the host
Good specialists can also have a queue
You need to choose a time to visit a specialist.
An additional plus is if a child psychologist who had an individual appointment also conducts psychological training for children. then they will better understand your child and the situation, and help will be more comprehensive.
Psychological training or consultation – what to choose?
There are problems-we need to solve them. This is clear to everyone. You decided to ask for help. But what to choose-training or individual meeting?
Trainings or individual meetings are different forms of work. Children’s training is suitable for developing a skill, and an individual session – for a deeper understanding of the problem. It is also better to choose an individual meeting if your question cannot be resolved in a group.
Choose a children’s training or consultation-depends on the difficulties you are facing.
For example, a child has a problem that they can’t solve. It is easy to communicate in principle, but in a particular team (school, section) – there are difficulties. In this case, it is better to come to the reception to understand what the issue is and how to solve it. It may be that the question that arose is not related to communication in General.
And if you notice that problems with communication in principle-everywhere and always, it is better to pass a training program for the formation of this skill in the child.
It is also worth seeing whether the child is ready to work in a children’s group, or it is easier for them to communicate one-on-one with a specialist. You can ask the child about this.
Pay attention to whether the child is ready to solve the problem now. He is a person. You can’t force me to go to a psychologist. If the child resists, it is better to come to the reception yourself first. This will also be useful and effective.
A story about bad relationships with peers.
The boy is 11 years old, did not develop relationships in the classroom, and in other children’s groups. The child, who according to parents is not aggressive at all, often fought, attacked other children. Naturally, he had very few friends, and his teachers did not treat him very well either. After a conversation with a child psychologist, we found out an important point – the child does not show emotions, do not talk about them. Here is an example: a classmate touches his pencil case. He doesn’t like it. But the boy endures, says nothing. The classmate continues to touch his things. As a result, our client explodes, pushes, shouts and hits a classmate.
As a result, the child was offered to take the course “the Lord of emotions” to learn to understand their emotions, notice them and talk about what does not suit them.
The specialist explained to parents that it is important to ask the child what he feels and why, to help him call the feelings by their proper names.
An insecure girl.
My mother addressed the problem that her daughter is afraid to answer at the blackboard, constantly afraid that she will not succeed. As a result of the conversation, it turned out that in the family, parents pay attention to their daughter’s mistakes, and her success is taken for granted and almost ignored. But criticism is often emphasized. Parents, without noticing it, constantly doubt the child’s strength and tell her about it. It was recommended that the girl attend several individual sessions with a psychologist to work with self-esteem and understand their strengths, or take a course “I am confident”. The girl chose individual classes, they are more suitable for her current mood. The psychologist recommended that parents pay more attention to their daughter’s success, and speak more softly about mistakes, while believing that she will succeed much better next time. Do not attach great importance to every child’s blunder.