Psychology of children 12 years old
What happens to a child at the age of 12: age features
At 12, the child Matures and is formed as a person. Its psychology is characterized by the fact that there is a more stable worldview, trends in communication with the world around it, change and become more aware of the interests in learning. During this time, the child learns moral and cultural values, becomes more aware and explores himself.
Finding yourself is not easy. Teenagers are beginning to try on the roles they see in everyday life, movies, and the Internet.
There is nothing wrong with this, as long as a teenager does not copy behaviors that are dangerous to his life and health.
The main place in the life of a teenager is occupied by peers and significant adults, whom he seeks to resemble (most often, these are not parents)
A boy or girl increasingly assess themselves and compare with others, attach importance to their non-objective qualities
Many people become interested in things beyond the boundaries of objective reality — time, life and death, laws, love and everything that can not be seen and known completely.
Teenagers often ask questions not to adults, but to themselves, books, and the Internet. This path of knowledge of the world now belongs only to the teenager.
By the age of 12, logical thinking develops — younger teenagers learn to operate with teenager begin and build chains. Thoughts become more structured, the child develops the skill to highlight the main thing.
Now fatigue is increased. This can cause irritability and excitability.
Do not put pressure on a teenager if he says that he is tired – this will not have an effect, only bring discomfort to everyone.
Teenagers experience a hormonal surge, and it is the cause of the main problems with adolescent behavior. Emotional swings, outbursts of aggression and constant conflicts with yourself and others are typical for this age. for them. There may be differences – girls grow up faster than boys.
A teenager is most often driven by his emotions, not rationality. He can be hurt by any words addressed to him, even the smallest things can cause a storm of emotions, anger and tears.
It is important to support a girl or boy, be patient and not devalue feelings.
The adolescent has clearer personal boundaries, new needs for independence, respect, trust and equal treatment by adults. The teenager begins to feel like a person worthy of having his opinion considered. If this does not happen, his behavior and attitude to people who are used to seeing him as a child can deteriorate significantly.
There is a risk of forming an inadequate low self-esteem and increasing anxiety, which is very dangerous for impressionable younger teenagers. A common reason is problems communicating with peers.
Younger teenagers start acting rashly because of hormones, the influence of friends and the desire to be a “cool” person who is “not weak”, especially for boys.
At this age, the most important thing is to instill a sense of self-worth in a teenager, form an adequate self-esteem and learn to understand their emotions.
A child at twelve — what to pay attention to in education
Now the most important moments in the upbringing of a child are the next change in boundaries, the formation of independence of a teenager, the creation or improvement of the skill of understanding their emotions, communication with peers.
Both boys and girls want to be psychologically separated from their parents. The values, authorities, and norms of behavior that are instilled in the family are evaluated and questioned. Now parents will need a lot of patience and understanding. These changes are not permanent; more often they are just a desire to “do the opposite”.
There is a realignment in the emotional sphere. A storm of feelings covers your head. Parents should try to understand what the child is experiencing, not to devalue the feelings of a teenager. It is necessary to develop the emotional intelligence of a teenager, teach him to Express himself.
The adolescent crisis gradually comes to a climax, which in most cases occurs at the age of 13-14.
The formation of personality. The main thing to remember is that the child is not you. You do not need to project your dreams on it, try to make it absolutely correspond to your personal ideas about what a person should be.
Boys and girls train in the art of choosing. It is important to give him the freedom to choose a role in this world, lifestyle and Hobbies. All you need to do is support, communicate, and carefully monitor security. Otherwise, the teenager will cope on his own.
It is difficult to control communication with peers from all sides. A teenager should have an inviolable personal life, which is accepted and respected by parents. Most of the trust in the family is built on this. However, you can not completely let the child go free swimming, where he can contact dangerous people, especially a boy. It is worth talking to a child (more often with a boy than with a girl) about his friends, what they like to do. About what kind of relationship he is in with them, how he feels in the company, whether he has become an outcast or the object of bullying. Here the danger is that boys often become very secretive, and they are not easy to ” talk»
How parents can help their child
Listen to him and appreciate his desire to grow up
Boys and girls are awakened to the feeling that their words and actions are as important as the words and actions of adults. By ignoring this, you risk damaging the teen’s self-esteem, and the desire to communicate with older people. You can not devalue what a child says with the words “I have already seen life and know everything, and it is too early for you to judge anything”. It’s better to listen and make it clear that you take it seriously.
At the age of 12-13 years, you can start discussing with a teenager some of the problems that are considered “adults”. You need to get rid of the perception of a 12-year-old as a child.
Create an atmosphere of trust and acceptance in the family
Teenagers constantly face difficulties in communicating, completing lessons, and dealing with teachers. It is important that they can freely tell about this at home without humiliation, ridicule, devaluation of their interests and aggression. It is especially difficult for boys to continue to be open with their parents.
Teach a teenager to say “no” and not to be manipulated
It is now the most dangerous time when a teenager can fall under the influence of bad company, become addicted to dangerous habits. Offers to try drugs, alcohol, cling to trains, walk on the “abandoned” definitely dangerous. Almost everyone goes through this experience, and it is impossible to completely protect them from trouble.
A teenager’s body changes, but it becomes incomprehensible. In order to feel and understand it, a teenager seeks to feel the danger, there may be a desire to make a tattoo, that is, to hurt himself. Through fear and pain, the body becomes clearer.
But a teenager should be able to refuse this, if he feels dangerous, uncomfortable and afraid. And at the same time do not feel “bad” or “worse than others”. He should know that his health is more valuable than his status in the company and “coolness”.
It’s the beginning of puberty. In girls, it begins earlier than in boys. Along with bodily changes, interest in the opposite sex wakes up.
Now it is important to tell him about the anatomy of his body and hygiene, to talk about sexual education. So both the teenager and parents will be calmer.
Despite the fact that teenagers want to separate from their parents, they need love and support. Hugs, warm conversations, sometimes even a Cup of tea can tell how much mom or dad loves it. Be series. It is very difficult for him now, and his parents are one of the first people to turn to if things become unbearable. You can make any difficult situation easier with your love, when everything is shaky and there is no confidence in anything
What do teenagers think about their life at 12
Here’s what 12-year-olds told us when we asked a few questions about their relationship with their parents and changes in their lives. The names are fictitious, the vocabulary is saved.
– Do you have a feeling that now, or during this year, there is a turning point for you?
– In the last few weeks, I have a peak of awareness, self-overcoming, new feelings, thoughts, I feel as if I am beginning to be reborn from within, new values appear. You also want to either have something missing, and you get it for yourself, or you just earn at least some things for yourself.
– How has your relationship with your parents changed?
“They got worse. I don’t know why, but I guess it’s because I started crying more often and became very short-tempered.
– How should parents behave in a situation with emotions like yours?
– Wait when I have a tantrum, well, “shattered” state. And then we can talk about my problems. Or just hug and comfort, show love not in the form of “if I didn’t love you, you wouldn’t go to this school”, but in the way I need it.
“Do you think you’ve changed much lately?”
– Nuuu, added knowledge, and consequently became clear more of those things that were previously not particularly clear. For example, I became calmer about LGBT people and started supporting feminism. Opinion about itself has also changed, for example, complexes have been added, but some of them have disappeared. I’m getting more interested in talking to boys.
– Did it become more difficult for you to communicate openly with your parents?
– I believe that I have a right to my secrets, and so, there are some differences in views on life. Accordingly, some difficulties have appeared. We have to avoid some sometimes important topics in order to avoid conflicts.
“What would you like to tell your parents?”