Psychology of 16-year-olds
The psychology of adolescence has many features. This is undoubtedly a difficult and important period for children and their parents. How to understand a child, be in a good relationship and support it?
We will try to help you find answers to these and other questions.
In most cases, 16-year-olds are able to reason in an adult way, argue, arguing their point of view, build logical chains, predict the possible course of events, etc.they have formed a worldview and norms of behavior, but they are still looking for themselves and are very naive.
The behavior of a sixteen-year-old teenager, his relationships with family and friends are closely related to how he spent the previous years of his life
He can be calm and behave like a full-fledged, but inexperienced adult. Or to rebel, leave the house, get into questionable companies, etc.One of the main reasons for such actions is that the child did not find understanding and comfort in the family. Also, the reason may be the search for yourself.
Teen and money
Finance is definitely needed. However, you should not give money at the first request. He can have a certain amount for pocket expenses, this is enough. This way he will learn how to distribute money correctly and know its price.
And it is mandatory to develop financial literacy if you haven’t done it before. This is convenient and interesting to do in practical courses on Finance. You can also choose an interesting internship or part-time job, and get your son or daughter to know your work better.
Having their earned money in their pocket, they will feel more confident and independent, and will see their own opportunities
Strictness and control in education
One of the ideas of educating a person, the essence of which is that the older the child, the
This is a gradual process of turning a child into a full-fledged independent person.
Now he already has many rights and responsibilities. He is not much controlled, he knows how to make decisions. There is a sense of responsibility that well prepares the teenager for adult life.
5 tips on how to talk to a teenager about puberty and sex.
It may be too late to talk about puberty at 16, but it is still worth openly and in detail discussing issues of sex education, contraception, respect for your body, and learn about the opinion of a schoolchild on these issues.
Argue and explain your worldview in detail, but do not impose it.
Tell us about STIs (sexually transmitted Infections). It is better if you not only tell US about STIs, but also show clear examples.
Make it clear that you are ready to answer questions.
Show the negative consequences of rash actions.
Be accessible and open
Give clearly to understand your worldview. Otherwise, it can easily succumb to any pressure. Why not?
It will be good if you find a suitable book that reflects your opinion and explains everything well. Study it together or let it be read by yourself and discuss it later.
Frequent mistakes of parents in the upbringing of a boy and a girl
Strictness in the upbringing of a daughter
It is not necessary to keep it in a strong strictness – you need to talk, explain and be aware of life
Don’t push your friends away, no matter what gender they are – you need to listen and help them make choices
If you want to get to know your child’s friends, invite them to watch a movie together or have a tea party
Do not cry THISMUSIC or “Men don’t cry»
This is one of the ways to raise a cruel, insensitive and unhappy person. It is important for a boy to understand and be able to Express his feelings. It will only make him stronger and better. He needs support, help and parental warmth no less than the girl.
If you have 2 children
Never take one of the sides. You can discuss the mistakes later, but the children must solve the conflicts themselves. By protecting someone by saying “He is smaller” or “She is a girl” and so on, you will only increase your hatred of each other and your sense of competition.
6 most common problems in 16.
Selfdetermination. Search for yourself. Choice of profession and future in General.
Exams and pressure from teachers.
Pressure from family and friends.
Love, perhaps non-reciprocal
Bullying or cyberbullying.
How can I help a teenager?
Advise, but don’t lecture.
Pay attention to the interests of the child. Help them discover themselves, see their strengths.
Listen, empathize, and let him talk if he needs it. Find his language of love and use it often (it can be words, touches(hugs), time, gifts, help).
Love and show your love.
Teach your child to say ” No.” Respect that
Help solve problems. If the child is overweight, then you can not hide it. Together, do not eat sweets and after six, exercise, this will help him become slimmer, greatly strengthen your relationship with him. If necessary, consult a dietitian.
Believe in it-it is very important for teenagers to feel the unquestioning love and support of their parents.
Opinion of 16-year-olds on important issues
Tell us about your relationship with your parents and how happy you are.
“My father is someone with whom you can consult. He’s my mentor. And my mother is the one who is fun and can be laughed at. “I feel happy»
“I have a very good relationship with my parents. My mother is my friend, but I don’t like that sometimes she acts like a teenager.” “I feel happy.»
“I don’t have a very good relationship with my parents, but I am grateful to my mother for listening to me, trying to understand, supporting (or trying, at least), and spending time with me.” “I feel kind of happy»
“My parents don’t want to listen to me! Unfortunately, my opinion doesn’t mean anything to them. Maybe they are right, but you know, when they forbid something, I really want to do it, to prove that I am capable of something, I am worth something. I’m waiting to leave them.” “I can’t say I’m happy»
“The last time I saw my father was when I was seven years old. And I hate it. I’m so afraid of being like him. Because of this, I hate myself. I can’t help hurting my mother, even though I love her. She always commands and very rarely praises me. And it’s upsetting. Very often I think that I am the worst. That I’m worthless»
Tell me your opinion about the Mat and about addiction
“I don’t like swearing. And I rarely use Mat in my vocabulary. Often the Mat is repulsive. I understand everyone. For me, alcoholics and drug addicts are people who have become slaves in an attempt to numb the pain. People bound by chains of dependence. And I don’t want to depend on anything»
Give advice to your parents or all parents of teenagers
Love your children, sincerely. Listen to them.
We need your advice, but we need freedom.
“I would very much like my parents to perceive me as an adult, listen to me and take into account my opinion, and not treat me like a dog who is told to “sit” and he will immediately sit down. Then I would probably be more docile»
Parents, say nice words to your children and love them. Try to be more attentive. Forgive them. They love you
15 tips from psychologists for parents of sixteen-year-olds
Encourage one another instead of lecturing. Try to listen and sincerely understand the child, and then give advice.
Set an example for yourself. You can’t ask a teenager to do something that you don’t do yourself
Show real life examples. About sexual life, Smoking, alcohol, drugs, etc.it is Important to see the negative consequences, and the brighter the example, the better it will be remembered. Let him come to the right conclusion for himself.
Give us a chance to make a mistake.
Warn about the possible consequences, but the child must make the choice himself and it does not matter whether it is a question of choosing clothes or educational institutions. He has to make mistakes and this is normal. Just stay close and everything will be fine
Slowly teach self-reliance. It is not necessary to do everything for the child, and then abruptly hang all the responsibility on him. Teach self-reliance slowly and smoothly. If you can’t do it in the family – motivational courses are a good option.
Love and don’t hide your feelings. Your child will feel more confident.
Support. Don’t skimp on compliments
Listen and be genuinely interested, asking questions other than “how are you?”, and deeper, “How are you feeling today?”How is your relationship with Sasha?”What made you smile today?”do not Share, communicate as with a friend. Listen. If you don’t want to communicate, then give it some time and try again.
Hug. If the child likes it, and if not – respect its boundaries
Do not insist on frankness, create a comfortable atmosphere.
Set boundaries with clear conditions
Wrong: “Don’t come home late” Right: “Be home no later than 11»
If it didn’t work out, find out the reason and make it clear that it shouldn’t happen again
Devote your time to it. Go to a cafe, go shopping-where everyone will be happy. Watch a movie with discuss. If he feels bad and doesn’t want to talk to you, you can turn on the movie, buy various Goodies and spend time together.
Make pleasant surprises sometimes.
They should not be frequent, but pleasant.
Help. Don’t do the work for him. But be prepared to explain and help. At the same time, it is not always necessary to give a way out immediately. A wiser decision would be to ask the correct question that will lead your son or daughter to the answer.
Have your time, your boundaries, your feelings, and your passion
If you spend at least 1-3 hours a day on yourself and your Hobbies, you can relax and be happier.
The child will respect you more. A hobby will make you not only a parent, but also an individual.
This is creating borders. The habit of knocking on the door and asking for permission to enter your or his room afterwards will make the child more understanding of others and himself. After all, you show that everyone has the right to personal space.