How can I help my child cope with emotions?
Being a parent and explaining everything to a child is not easy. There is a lot to teach the child, to guide him correctly, so that he can find his way in life.
The modern world requires a child to develop many skills from childhood. One of them is understanding emotions.
The list of competencies required for a person is constantly changing, but emotional intelligence always takes the leading position. And undoubtedly, this skill should be developed in a child from childhood.
In this article, we will discuss what emotions are, how to help a child learn to control them, and whether it is necessary to do so.
What are emotions, what are they?
Emotions are a person’s response to events that occur around them or their own internal experiences.
They are an integral, very important part of life, help build relationships with the world around them, are responsible for security, and not only
There are a lot of shades, but the basic emotions are divided into three categories:
Positively colored( positive): joy, admiration, anticipation, and so on;
Negatively colored (negative): sadness, anger, suffering, fear, shame, and so on;
Neutral: surprise, curiosity, indifference, and so on.
It is a question of positive or negative coloring. There are no bad emotions.
Each of them is necessary for a person, performs an important function and provides contact with the surrounding world.
Joy-helps you Express your great mood and share it with the world.
Sadness-gives you the opportunity to stop and think, pause, make sense of what is happening
Fear-provides security, does not allow us to walk on the edge of the roof and make other rash actions
Rage and anger-help you maintain your boundaries and defend them
This is only a small number of emotions, in fact they are much more and they make our world so interesting, colorful and diverse!
Child and emotions-7 tips for parents
Remember-there are no bad emotions
Do not forbid the child to experience feelings. “Don’t be mad!”, “Don’t be afraid!”- messages that parents should exclude when raising a child.
Help me understand and call my emotions by the right names
At the moment when a certain action occurs, followed by an emotion, it is better to put a “pause” and discuss with the child what is happening now, what he feels.
A simple “children’s” example – someone takes your baby’s toy on the street without permission. The child sees this and expresses his reaction-tries to take it away, cries, screams. Help the child find and name the feeling that he is experiencing – ask: “are You angry now? What do you want to do?»
The same goes for resentment of friends, poor grades in school, and failures in older children-teach them to pause and understand what has just happened.
The first step in managing emotions is to learn to call them by their proper names.
Teach them to react correctly
Discuss what you can do with the current situation. Every emotion must find a way out. But, of course, there are socially unacceptable options. Try to talk so that the child can choose a form of reaction by which he will Express his feelings, and at the same time will not cause harm to himself or others.
Do not waste time on communication
The time spent together is priceless. You will learn a lot about your child, and you will be able to reflect on how we feel, what emotions we experience, and why. Through these conversations, the child will learn to understand their emotions and what is happening to them, even when you are not around. Developing the ability to understand emotions is a process that takes time
Hug and feel sorry for
Tactile contact is important – you can use it to calm, distract and support your child.
Start with ourselves
Talk about your emotions and what caused them. Moreover, not only in situations that directly concern your child and relationships with him, talk about your life in General – work, friends.
Why didn’t you come in time!!”I’m mad at you now because you didn’t come home in time. I was worried and I was very scared for you!»
2 again!!! When you start learning! I’m sad that your grades are bad. I’m afraid it will be difficult for you to learn if you don’t understand the topic.
I’m upset about the situation at work, so I don’t want to talk right now
Games with emotions are interesting
Come up with new games with your child, try old ones – this is a great way to deal with emotions, learn to call them by their proper names.
There is a beautiful book for reading with a child, “Pollyanna,” by Eleanor porter. This is a book about a girl and her game-to find the good side of things everywhere. This story is a clear example of the ability to find positive sides in what is happening around you and cause positive emotions. Try playing this game with your child.
Here is another interesting option-come up with or take any character and turn into an “emotional know-it-all”. Agree with the child that they can address their own questions to their character – and the answer will not take long. Of course, you understand, the child will answer all the questions, but sometimes it is easier to tell about your condition through the 3rd person: the Bunny says that I am very divided!
Very simple and well-known, but very useful game – “Emotional crocodile” Play it with a child – a pleasure. The rules are as follows: the first participant guesses an emotion and depicts it without the help of sounds and words, that is, only facial expressions and gestures. The rest-guess. Try it – it’s fun and very useful!
Books about emotions
It is books that can help us understand ourselves and enjoy our time,
And literature related to our topic will help the child with managing emotions.
Book reviewer Eugene Shaffert offers a selection of good books for this important goal-the development of a child’s ability to understand their emotions. Reading them with their parents, the child will be closer to the world of emotions.
Fear often prevents children from living in peace: some are afraid of monsters under the bed, others speak at the blackboard. Psychologist Irina Chesnova has created a book for children 6-10 years old about how to cope with fears. Reading the book, you and your child will learn about what fears are for and what they are-from the fear of monsters and ghosts to the fear of the test — and gives advice on how to get out of this situation. For example, the author recommends drawing fears and tells you what to do with these drawings, introduces readers to thematic fairy tales, and suggests how to be less afraid.
This is a comic about the emotional state of an introvert created by British artist Debbie Tang. This book includes dozens of small stories where the heroine is a child who loves solitude and quiet leisure, trying to adapt to a noisy world. Some here will recognize themselves and understand that it is not necessary to try to overcome their own natural isolation and become the soul of the company. For extroverts, this book will provide an opportunity to understand other people who may have seemed strange and not very polite to them.
“My Emotions” By Agnes Besson, ” Clover-Media Group»
This book can teach you to talk about a variety of feelings. Twelve reversals of the book — twelve different emotions. On the left is an emotional state (pleasure, sadness, resentment, etc.), and on the right are four plot pictures, the characters of which experience the same feeling. So, on the “interest” page, the boy watches the ants, and the girl waits for the egg to hatch. And in the fourth picture-the task: to determine what the characters feel. And in the end, of course, it is worth talking to the child in the read and summarize.
This is a book about the features of the brain, which is told in the form of correspondence between two teenagers and a scientist. They discuss many things-the paradoxes of memory devices, features of the brain of an infant and a teenager, and even a delinquent. Even talking about the role of hormones in behavior. The scientist explains what happens to the brain of a smoker or drug addict, talks about modern scientific theories about the differences between the female and male brains. And of course, the scientist talks about complex things cheerfully and humorously – the Book is addressed to readers 12 years and older. Reading it with a child is a pleasure.
“What to do if you don’t want to do it” by Alexander Makeev, Vitaly Sonkin, Clover-Media Group»
Every teenager has encountered situations in which they do not want to do anything. The book talks about various unpleasant situations for the child and suggests how to find the best way out of the situation. Their main recipe is to find a reasonable compromise. They explain what this behavior strategy is and when it can be used, and how it helps maintain a good relationship. For example, if you do not want to go to a Museum with your parents, you can make a row, or you can seriously ask why it is so important for adults to look at paintings — and learn something new. The book describes the problems and the success or failure of their solutions with the help of funny comics.
“Alphabet Of Emotions”, Natalia Kedrova
The book of a child psychologist and Gestalt therapist is addressed to younger schoolchildren and teenagers who want to learn more about how their experiences work, how to understand themselves and other people in timidity, grief, resentment or envy, how to experience respect or pride.
The test is provided with bright illustrations, and the book will be interesting for both adults and children.
Emotion management courses
You can play games and read books, as well as take courses and help your child with the help of a specialist to understand the complex and important topic of emotions.
In the center of K. O. T. there are courses for the youngest-from 6 to 8 years old “I and feelings”, where children learn to call emotions by their proper names, understand the emotional state of another person and react correctly to it.
Courses for schoolchildren “the Lord of Emotions”, where children learn to really manage emotions, understand the importance of each emotional state and as a result can Express themselves and understand others, they significantly develop their level of emotional intelligence.